So – having torn myself apart, worked out I had a problem, suggested what needed to change, expressed and communicated what my shortcomings were and the impact of them on both of us – we jointly agreed the ground rules and how we would implement meaningful change and set some goals for a better future together.
So how do you progress this from concept to lifestyle?
Well, the very first thing you have to do is let it settle for a bit. Be honest as you go;
Is what you have asked for achievable?
Is it having the desired results?
Are there actually other things that come up that are more important?
How is your wife finding the authoritarian role?
Are there changes you need to make to some of the restrictions you have in place? (more, less)
Does your partner feel empowered or are things souring?
Once you have bedded it in for a bit, then you need to commit.
I suggest a proper sit down where you table the terms you have worked out and formally surrender to her. Make her dinner, make an effort, prepare a speech of you like, exchange gifts, maybe a collar or some kind of band if thats your thing (it is mine, I wear a steel eternity collar permanently locked around my neck)
Ask her to step into the leader role forever, request that she be strong and sure and lead you firmly and surely without hesitation. Pledge your love, honor and respect to her and tell her you will obey her without question or accept the consequences.
If she agrees, hopefully you’re all set. Enjoy it, because having come so far – to back out will be tough if not impossible.
So how does my life look now?
- My wife wears the trousers 100%. What she says goes in all areas of our life. She decides, I obey. I have already learned that tt is not advisable to test this.
- I am on a very short leash
- I am more respectful
- I always apologise if I stuff up.
- I work out and have lost weight.
- The house is much cleaner every day and takes significantly less time to clean at weekends
- The garden is always tidy
- I dont spend time on the computer when I dont need to. Device addiction is being broken – I have no further access to change my access, sites I can visit, content filters and time my devices or apps will work and never will again.
- I have no independent access to money which has brought me down a number of pegs (which was my design, but living it has been frustrating and restrictive). I will never be able to get my financial independence back as I cannot access any of my cards (they are in a safe that I do not have access to) or my internet banking on my own, so it’s no use trying to change what I started, it’s actually not possible. This creates a very subservient mindset.
- Our financial position has improved quite significantly – I was not managing money as well as I thought
- I’m much more submissive and respectful in my everyday life with my wife. I have to be. My ability to function financially depends on her being happy and its a powerful motivator
- Odd jobs get done.
- We are much more equal and harmonious in our relationship.
What are my challenges?
- I really miss erotic images/porn on my computer. Parental controls have stopped that largely, and as I come across distractions, I quickly add them to a separate block list before I change my mind. This is frustrating but important as 1. its disrespectful to my wife and women 2. I need to focus.
- Accepting lack of access to money – this is hard but I know know its for my own good and a mark of my place in the marriage.
- Asking for permission for a night out or $20 for an after work drink is humiliating. It comes with the inevitable questions as to whom I am meeting and what for, however this a much more honest way to live.
- I crave some materialist things, but they are totally unobtainable unless my wife buys them for me. I asked her to refuse 9 things out of 10 to make it genuinely different from before. Its will be a long time until I am able to purchase something new.
- I wish she would try out punishment. I can think of a million things that appeal to my submissive nature that I wish she would consider.
- corner time
- hard spanking/strap
- lines or essay writing – I must do better..
- restrict computer time/surrender devices
- a week in some kind of chastity (however I have tried some of these devices are they are either too easy to escape from or painful after a while… better ones cost a fortune and I now have no access to money!)
- Some of those things would probably be better off as a reward if I’m honest..
To be honest, the levers we agreed on are working well. They have made an almost instant difference to how I think about life, my role and how I focus on my wife and her needs. I am instantly contrite if she is cross and berates me.
I am much happier, my responsibilities are simple, clear, task driven. The expectations to perform and improve and behave are even clearer – our joint roles are clear unambiguous.
I’m on a very short leash that I have no way to escape from.
That is my 24/7 FLR and I love it.